blonde commit suicide

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe.
Wedding | Engagement

golf lesson

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do.
The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.
The pro said, "Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard. Grip the club gently as you would your husband's penis.”
The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway.
The pro said, "That was excellent!! Let's try it again, only this time take the club out of your mouth."
Sympathy

What do Tony Blair and Peter Stringfellow have in common?....They both love bush. Retirement

Tony Blair vs Peter Stringfellow

What do Tony Blair and Peter Stringfellow have in common?....They both love bush. Report Card Day

sing a country and western song backwards?

What do you get when you sing a country and western song backwards? Your wife back, your house back and your dog back. New Job

why did orange stop?

Why did the orange stop? Cause it ran out of juice
New Baby

worst at karaoke?

Which country is the worst at Karaoke? Singapore
 Job Promotion