the plane doesnt go to America

A very attractive blonde lady boards a plane bound for America and immediately sits down in the business class area. The stewardess walks up to her and asks he if she can check her ticket. The blonde shows her the ticket, which is clearly marked economy class. The stewardess informs the lady that she must move to which the blonde replies " I am blonde and beautiful so I can sit anywhere" The stewardess informs the senior steward of the situation who then goes to speak to the blonde yet still the blonde replies "I am blonde and beautiful so I can sit anywhere". The steward does not know what to do so goes to inform the captain, the co-pilot listening to the situation says "let me deal with it sir my girlfriend is blonde" so off he goes. Everyone watches as the co pilot walks up to the lady and whispers something inner ear, she then gets up and walks to the back of the plane and takes her seat in economy class. The captain amazed at how easily the co pilot has resolved the situation asks the co pilot what he said. The co pilot replies, " It was quite easy really I just told her the front half of the plane doesn’t go to America..."

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thieves mad off

Thieves made off with a toilet from police station, police say they have nothing to go on

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a little patient

A man walks into a surgery "doctor" he cries "I think I'm shrinking" "I’m sorry, sir there are no appointments at the moment" says the physician "you will just have to be a little patient"

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prawn went to a nightclub

Did you hear about the prawn that went to a nightclub - he pulled a mussel.

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different between man and dog

What's the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit, a dog just pants.

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out of head

A brain went into a pub and said, "Can I have a pint of lager please?" "No way" says the barman "you are already out of your head".